The Apostacy has Begun

After many weeks of being cruelly cut off from cyberspace, I have finally rejoined the 21st century.... and I have done so with a brand new Macbook.

Having always been an exclusive PC user, I'm intrigued with the sleek shiny appearance of my new portal to the real world. Like a brand new girlfriend, I sorta know what I'm doing... but then something completely new and intriguing reveals itself.

I think I've got a crush on my new computer.

Pay Attention, Alanis

Rain on your wedding day? Not ironic.

Ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife? Also not ironic. Unfortunate, perhaps... but not ironic.

But now when a man who happens to be the 91st richest man in the United States due to his multi billion dollar roofing business just happens to die falling off his own roof?

Well now, that's some delicious delicious irony right there, kids!

Verily and Forsooth; I, the Hulk, Smasheth

Secretly dig comics but like to put forth an air of pretension? Marvel's got a graphic novel for you! Set in the Elizabethan Age, Marvel 1602 posits a world where all the familiar Marvel heroes (Spiderman, Fantastic Four, Dr. Strange, and Daredevil, to name just a few) make their initial debuts in 17th century England rather than the modern day, with all the strife, pomp and circumstance of that era.

Written by Neil Gaiman (of Sandman fame) and illustrated beautifully by Andy Kubert and digitally painted by Richard Isanove, this novel is a literal feast for both the eyes and the mind. If you're a fan of Marvel comics, I highly recommended picking it up. I've personally re-read it twice so far after initially purchasing it 4 months ago, and it stays engaging and fresh with each reading.

Another Casualty of The Writer's Strike

I used to look forward to Thursdays... seeing as how I'm a Superman fanatic AND a connoisseur of fine female flesh, Smallville was my go-to for Thursday night entertainment.

Sometimes a little soap-operatic, sometimes just plain hokey, Smallville still never failed to deliver a potent combination of super-powered coolness and hot tasty babes. With the addition of Laura Vandervoort (see picture inset), things were only getting better...

Until the Writer's Strike took all my fun away. Why do the writers hate fanboys? Don't they undertand that without fresh new episodes, our attention spans wander away? (Pay no attention to the Trekkies who obsessively watch the same old TOS episodes over and over again... they're a mutant strain of fanboy we try not to acknowledge.)

Pigs are Tasty, Part Two!!

A grocery store in Manhattan (who shall remain nameless for legal purposes) was advertising hams as being "delicious for Chanukah" earlier today... at least until someone pointed out to the clerks that, however delicious the ham may be, nobody who celebrates Chanukah would be even slightly interested...

It's a damn shame, though... with modern government inspection and cleanliness standards in place, surely it's time to relax some of those strict Jewish dietary laws. The pigs the rest of us are wolfing down by the ribload are most certainly a lot cleaner than the swine from Biblical times, right?

Besides, "Hanukkah Ham" has a nice ring to it...

I Dig The Zoolights

Zoolights starts tonight at the Denver Zoo, featuring 38-plus acres of lights including over 150 animated animal sculptures. I've been a couple times before and heartily recommend it for everyone with children or for people like me who are just kids at heart.

I will say this, though... go now before the snow comes. The displays are beautiful and the walk is refreshing, but only if you aren't slogging through a foot of the cold nasty wet stuff...

The Teachers in Brighton are Perverts

As news of a third teacher-student sex scandal rocks the small Colorado town of Brighton this morning, it makes me wonder: Was this sort of thing going on when I was in high school 18 years ago and just not as widely reported, or have the criteria by which teachers are selected become much more lax? Does anyone even bother to investigate the backgrounds of the people hired to teach the next crop of American youth, or can any old sex offender wander into a school and start teaching History 101?

Additionally, if this sort of thing WAS going when I was in high school, why did none of my teachers look like Debra LaFave?